Backwards, forwards, up, down, all around (Pt. 2)

So here we are. Looking 2012 straight into the kisser and having given 2011 the proverbial bird. To be honest, I haven’t given much thought to what I want 2012 to be like. I know I’d like to continue growing and learning new skills.

Maybe that’s what I want 2012 to feel like:

• I want to feel productive.
• I want to finish some of my own projects
• I want to keep up a tidy home that I and others enjoy spending time in.
• I’d like to learn to meditate (and maybe some yoga) so that I can clear my mind and get some restful sleep for once in my life
• I want to cook a dish with at least one ingredient I’ve never cooked with before

I think it boils down to wanting to find my place or center in the world. When I look back on 2011, that’s what I feel like I’ve been missing. Something or someone to have my back. In 2011, I didn’t feel like I had that. Let’s hope I can build one in 2012.

Backwards, forwards, up, down, all around (Pt. 1)

I’m sitting in my kitchen with a fresh cup of coffee, some fruit and nut crostini, and a jar of pickled figs. For some reason, I’m feeling thoughtful and nostalgic. There’s no doubt I’m feeling this way because 2011 is about to end and 2012 about to start.

New Job

I’m still not quite sure what to make of everything that happened this year. I suppose the big event was that I started a new job in June. It’s not just a new company for me, though. This job is also a new position, and deals with a very different part of the same market I was working in before.

Adjusting has been difficult at times. There’s been a lot to learn both about my new company’s products, as well as learning to be a product manager. I still think it was the right decision. I’m getting the experiences I wanted. Nevertheless, there’s something uneasy about it. I still sort of feel like I’m living in someone else’s home, so to speak.

First Surgery

In January, I had my first surgery in a hospital. Late last year, a blood vessel in my fingertip began growing out of control. Sort of a benign tumor. Nobody knows how these things start. By the time I had my operation, the surgeon had to take a decent hunk of my fingertip off. All is well now, save for my right middle finger being a bit shorter than my left. You really can’t notice it unless you look closely, at which point you’ll notice a bit of dimpling on my fingertip. I make more typos now.

Just after surgery

Today

New Bike

I did a decent job of stimulating the economy this year. Some new furniture was purchased, as was a new bike. Various consumer electronic devices were purchased as well, though these have not changed my life in any particular way. I’ve been (slowly) learning iOS programming though, and am excited about finishing up my first few apps.

I think I might need to start admitting to myself that I have a bike problem. I seem to buy bikes or bike stuff whenever I get dumped. If I’ve bought a new bike, chances are that something along those lines has happened. This year, it was a Brompton folding bike. The Brompton has become my go-to bike for heading back and forth from work. I do miss riding fixed gear from time to time, though, so I may put the Raleigh back into service in some form.

New Girls

Dating in general has been hit or miss. There was an early-year meltdown which took me a long time to process. I didn’t handle it well and the fallout still haunts me. I’ve been seeing more girls, although things have slowed down over the past few months. I find that I still feel like there are codes of conduct which I never learned. Signs or signals that people take for granted, but for which I simply have no clue about.

I recently read an article in the New York Times about a couple who both have forms of Asperger’s Syndrome (“Navigating Love and Autism”). Some of the points hit home and made me wonder if I myself might have Asperger’s, but I’m not sure that knowing or being diagnosed one way or the other would change anything. The article is great, though, as art the short video interview segments linked throughout.

2011 in a Nutshell

So that’s pretty much been my year. I can’t say that I’ll look upon it fondly, but I’ve learned a lot about myself and the world around me. I suppose that’s not all bad. All I really want to say, though, is “Good riddance!”

Things I learned

Things I’ve learned about myself and (online) dating in the last four weeks:

• I actually can get dates. Better yet, some of them are actually willing to go on a second!
• It’s okay to go out with lots of people. In fact, it’s a great idea within limits.
• People don’t always resemble their online dating profiles, in both good and bad ways.
• Anyone you have a bit of emotional/personal/intellectual connection with is worth a second date.
• Procrastination when it comes to sending the first e-mail or texting/calling after the first date is bad.
• Short first messages seem to work better than longer messages.
• Planning and scheduling are hard.
• Take it slow, keep it fun, let ‘em have some space.

Growing Up

I think I never really grew up. Sure, I can handle my finances and have built a career path for myself that has lots of great options. I can cook for myself and know how to take care of general apartment things. When it comes to interpersonal matters, though, I have a tough time.

I’ve been trying to keep my social calendar filled. I’ve been doing this partly as a way to force myself to learn these things and partly as a way of moving on from some unfortunate experiences that have been happening this year. Dating is tough! Between juggling work, time with friends, and possible dates… I’m exhausted! I think my limit is two dates per week MAX.

I have a social energy quota and it gets depleted pretty quickly.

The Future

Last night I was fortunate enough to get a ticket to see a preview screening of Miranda July’s new movie, “The Future” at the MoMA. I was actually in the standby line, credit and membership cards in hand, when someone asked if I was next in line and then shoved a ticket at me. Bonus!

For those who don’t know, Miranda July is an artist/writer/filmmaker. Her last feature length movie was “Me and You and Everyone We Know.” The characters and plots in her movies tend toward the quirky, outcast, and fantastical. If you’re uncomfortable with uncomfortable characters, her movies probably aren’t for you. Her film short, “Are You The Favorite Person of Anybody?” featuring John C. Reilly is actually available on YouTube:

July was there at the screening and answered some audience questions after the film. The coolest part was that she mingled before and afterwards. Standing a few feet away from her, I felt like what I think teenage girls feel when they’re standing by Justin Bieber. As it turns out, she’s just as quirky and adorkable as the characters she writes into her movies. Yes, I have a crush.

“The Future” is about a couple who realize that adopting a cat will tie them together in responsibility. Fearing that commitment, they take the month they have and try to live life without the burden of everyday cares. It’s a movie that is, on the one hand, about moments and, on the other hand, about the arcs and storylines that play out over our lifetimes.

The characters aren’t heroes; they’re flawed almost to the extent of being pitiable. It’s that quality, however, that makes their performances so good. We all have flaws. Life is tough and no amount of fantastical happenings can really change that.

The movie itself is beautiful, at times feeling like a very polished piece of performance art or a series of art photos. Props and music all seem to have been chosen deliberately and unnoticeably perfectly.

My one complaint about the film is that I felt it ran a little long. Scenes linger, and the character performances are slow… almost as if they were visually enunciating each beat in the plot. Still, I thoroughly enjoyed it and hope to see it do well in general release.

Here’s the trailer for “The Future”:

Product Management

One of the really challenging things about my new job is that I’ve taken a role I haven’t really formally taken on before. In addition to learning all about a new and complex suite of products as well as a new company culture, I’m really learning a new job at the same time. To be honest, I wasn’t even really sure what a “product manager” did when I started interviewing (the product was just that interesting).

I’m approaching the role as sort of an internal entrepreneur. Once I’m up to speed, I expect that I’ll be dividing my time between looking for new functionality, prioritizing feature requests from the field, and doing a little project management in juggling requests. The goal is to make sure that products keep evolving and improving but in a way that is consistent with the current state and future goals of the business.

This is a lot different than my role as a software engineer. Although I was also responsible for keeping the product going, deciding which features to build was somewhat out of my control. I could decide how to build things, but what or when was largely decided by other people.

This has actually been a tough transition on a lot of levels. First off, I am used to having been the one to have built… well… if not everything, close to everything. Secondly, I am having to make a transition from thinking in terms of code, to thinking in terms of documents. There are simply too many issues to keep track of for me to get knee deep in code.

Morning

My new morning routine:

Heavy

Dear Reader,

I apologize for the lengthy intervals between my posts. Between work, matters of the heart, and my own laziness I’ve neglected this blog. So, here’s what’s been going on.

Over the winter I started seeing a girl I’ve had a huge crush on for a while. Unfortunately, the relationship ended. I’m still not completely sure what happened. From what I can tell, it may have been bad timing or, more likely, my own inexperience with courtship. Love seems sort of like credit to me. To get good credit, one has to borrow money, but to borrow money, one has to have good credit. Maybe that’s what dating is. Borrowing a small piece of someone’s heart for a period of time — a small enough investment to get you in the door so you can build up enough credit to say “I love you” and mean it.

An interesting observation about myself. I recently learned (via Facebook, natch), that this girl (as well as another former love interest) has started seeing someone else. This revelation stirred up a response I didn’t expect. I actually got jealous and sad and lonely. To be honest, it still smarts a bit. I’m not sure why this reaction surprises me. I guess I always thought I was the sort of person who would react more cooly and rationally about this sort of thing.

Earlier this year, I had surgery on my finger to remove a benign growth. The surgery was fine, and I recovered in a few weeks. My finger is shorter than it was, but I have full use of it and don’t really notice.

Two weeks ago, I left the company I joined three years ago and started a new job. There were a number of reasons for leaving, none holding greater sway than any other. There were a lot of reasons to join the new place too (a decision wholly separate from whether to leave or not). So, I have a new position (non-engineering), in a new company. There’s a lot to learn, and I’m excited about gulping it all down so I can start making a real dent in things.

It’s summer now. This is not my favorite season, but there are still moments when I want time to stand still so I can just enjoy the moment. I’m working on filling up my life, finding a good balance between work (which I care about deeply), and everything else. I’ve recently started trying to paint again and have been trying to spend more of my time with people new and old.

I hope we can keep in touch more as I settle into this next chapter of my life.

With love, John

What I care about in 2011

Usually, around this time of year, I’d write something about what I tried and liked last year (2010). This time, I think I’ll take the time to try and communicate what I’m caring about this year. In no particular order:

• The NYPD “bike crackdown” —  The NYPD is currently strictly enforcing traffic laws for bicycles. I have no problem with such enforcement if it is applied equally across all road users (pedestrians are also road users). It is not. As a cyclist, I’m not asking for special dispensation… just equal consideration. Currently, the written laws, enforcement thereof, public attitude, and physical infrastructure are biased towards motorized vehicles and pedestrians.
• Elected Officials — I have never been one to contact elected officials in the past. However, with the NYPD bike crackdown (and with an interest in promoting alternatives to single-occupant automobiles) I’ve become much more interested in actively voicing my opinion to my elected officials.
• Life balance — To be honest, work is most of what I know. I grew up with life revolving around external reward and certificates of achievement. I’m hoping I can find a good balance between my own personal ambition, my professional life, and my personal relationships this year. I realize it’s something I need to work on, but I’m also really afraid of things not working out (thanks, laissez-faire capitalism)
• Mechanical keyboards — I’m a research and development engineer. I spend my life at a keyboard writing software and research papers. A comfortable and positive typing experience is really important. Last month, I rediscovered the joys of a great mechanical keyboard and now I’m out to try as many different keyswitches as I can. I’ve gone so far as to order my own keyboard for use at my office.
• Art — I’d really like to get back to making art. Last year I bought a bunch of painting supplies. I even prepared some canvases. Unfortunately, I never did sit down and start painting. I hope to rectify that this year. Perhaps I’ll even try and learn an instrument. Banjo and guitar are two instruments I’ve been wanting to learn. I’m also open to re-learning how to play the violin (I played for six years in grade school).

Given that it’s the beginning of the year, that’s already quite a bit. I’ll try and write more on each in the coming weeks.

Summer Project

For those just tuning in, I moved apartments in May. While my new place doesn’t have as much character as my old one, it does have the benefit of receiving an enormous amount of natural light. This has allowed me to start growing some plants.

Being a geeky sort, though, I couldn’t leave well enough alone and decided to build a plant monitoring system as a way to learn some electronics. What I envision is a sensor package for each plant that measures temperature, light, and soil moisture. All of the sensor packs would plug into a central data display/logger unit. This main unit would allow you to look at the current readings, possibly scroll through previous readings, or transfer readings to a computer.

I ordered some Arduino starter stuff from SparkFun and have been messing around. Arduino is a small microcontroller board that makes it easy to get started with some embedded programming. A microcontroller is like a very very very small computer (in terms of size and power) that generally runs only one program, unlike your desktop or laptop that runs many programs. Microcontrollers are responsible for things like controlling your microwave, managing a car engine, or running an iPod.

The arduino board (bottom) and prototype sensors (top)

A few nights ago I started wiring up temperature and light sensors. It took a little doing, but I was eventually able to convert the raw readings from the temperature sensor into human units. I’m still working on figuring out how to convert the light sensor. For kicks, I let the sensor run yesterday while I was at the office. Apparently, my apartment warms up to 90F during the day!

The interesting thing to me is that you can clearly see two main events. The first is when I turn the A/C off and leave for the office. Almost immediately, the temperature begins to rise. The second event is when the A/C automatically kicks on (I set the timer to turn on the unit about an hour before I expect to get home).

It’s also possible to see how the “energy saver” mode of my A/C unit works. I have the thermostat on the A/C set to 77F and have turned on the energy saver mode. In the plot below, you can see how the unit maintains the temperature for a while and then shuts off. The temp slowly rises again, and then the air conditioner turns on again to lower the temp.

I wired up the light sensor too and can’t wait to see how light levels change throughout the day. It will also be interesting to see how interior temps fare once I get shades. Hopefully that will bring the peak temperature down and the A/C won’t have to run as long/hard to keep the apartment cool.

The next step will be to design and build some soil moisture sensors and then figure out how to package the sensors up into a vaguely neat and attractive package.