Antisociology

Heavy

Posted in Uncategorized by antisociology on July 4, 2011

Dear Reader,

I apologize for the lengthy intervals between my posts. Between work, matters of the heart, and my own laziness I’ve neglected this blog. So, here’s what’s been going on.

Over the winter I started seeing a girl I’ve had a huge crush on for a while. Unfortunately, the relationship ended. I’m still not completely sure what happened. From what I can tell, it may have been bad timing or, more likely, my own inexperience with courtship. Love seems sort of like credit to me. To get good credit, one has to borrow money, but to borrow money, one has to have good credit. Maybe that’s what dating is. Borrowing a small piece of someone’s heart for a period of time — a small enough investment to get you in the door so you can build up enough credit to say “I love you” and mean it.

An interesting observation about myself. I recently learned (via Facebook, natch), that this girl (as well as another former love interest) has started seeing someone else. This revelation stirred up a response I didn’t expect. I actually got jealous and sad and lonely. To be honest, it still smarts a bit. I’m not sure why this reaction surprises me. I guess I always thought I was the sort of person who would react more cooly and rationally about this sort of thing.

Earlier this year, I had surgery on my finger to remove a benign growth. The surgery was fine, and I recovered in a few weeks. My finger is shorter than it was, but I have full use of it and don’t really notice.

Two weeks ago, I left the company I joined three years ago and started a new job. There were a number of reasons for leaving, none holding greater sway than any other. There were a lot of reasons to join the new place too (a decision wholly separate from whether to leave or not). So, I have a new position (non-engineering), in a new company. There’s a lot to learn, and I’m excited about gulping it all down so I can start making a real dent in things.

It’s summer now. This is not my favorite season, but there are still moments when I want time to stand still so I can just enjoy the moment. I’m working on filling up my life, finding a good balance between work (which I care about deeply), and everything else. I’ve recently started trying to paint again and have been trying to spend more of my time with people new and old.

I hope we can keep in touch more as I settle into this next chapter of my life.

With love, John

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2 Responses

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  1. Susan said, on July 5, 2011 at 5:30 pm

    Glad to hear you are back to blogging. I am not exactly sure I agree that dating requires good credit. I think I believe more in volume. The more people you meet, the more chance you have of it working out the way you want in the long run (i.e. finding someone you actually want to spend most of your time with).

    I saw the new job post on LinkedIn. Super congrats! That is very exciting. Keep us posted on how the painting goes. I have been looking into trying some new hobbies. Not really sure what I am going to like, but its a fun process.

  2. antisociology said, on July 5, 2011 at 11:25 pm

    I think we’re on the same page vis a vis dating. To me, dating more is akin to making many smaller investments as opposed to a few very big ones. I have a tendency to crush hard on someone when I like them, so when it doesn’t work out, I usually find myself in a very deep hole. Emotionally speaking, of course.


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